Boston, MA - While some scientists are wasting their time with things like COVID booster shots and global warming, others are putting effort toward far more important scientific discoveries like the lick-able screen.
We've all heard of 4k and 8K TVs, but have you heard of the new 5000TB TVs? This is the measurement of a screen that can tantalize up to 5000 taste buds.
The tasty chemicals are applied to a thin film and then placed on top of the display. Because when haven't you thought, "I'd love to immediately taste the flavor of that thing I'm looking at by pressing my tongue against my smart phone?"...
... that Big Mac, that can of Coke, that gecko from those insurance commercials.
Buster, the neighborhood dog, is particularly excited. "I used to lick and slobber all over my owners iPad for no reason whatsoever. Now I have a reason. A very good reason," Buster yapped.
Not everyone is so excited about these innovations though. The LAPD has echoed their frustrations with these annoying technology trends. "We are having a hard enough time convincing people it is bad to text and drive," a police officer said. "I mean, I want to lick a Krispy Kreme on my phone more than anyone else, but now we have to campaign against licking and driving. It's just too much."
We reached out to members of the band KISS, with their extraordinarily long tongues, because we figured they would be experts on the topic, but they have yet to respond.
Technology Reporter, Product Heartbeat