February 5, 2022

Snap's "other income" boosts profitability. The "other income" is blackmail.

Snap's "other income" boosts profitability. The "other income" is blackmail.

Santa Monica, CA - In the fourth quarter of 2021, Snap released its earning report which remarkably showed a profit for the first time.

"This is a huge moment for us," a Snap spokesperson summarized. "As the kids who use our app would say it, our profits are lit."

"Eww. We don't say that anymore," a kid replied. "I guess it's time to start using TikTok."

Upon further inspection, the category that catapulted Snap from the red and into the black was "other income".

Upon even further inspection, we discovered that the "other income" was nothing more than blackmail money. The company received several "donations" from prominent people who thought Snapchat actually deleted their photos.

Upon yet even further inspection, we discovered that the bulk of those payments came from an anonymous Disney employee who is rumored to represent the PR for notorious super villain Darth Vader.

"We cannot confirm or deny the rumors," the Snap spokesperson said. "But we may or may not have mirror selfies of Darth Vader in a pink ballet tutu."

Such an image would surely rock the very foundations of the galaxy and the entire reputation of the Star Wars franchise.