Washington, D.C. - In a recent OSHA report by the Department of Labor, it is now an occupational hazard to work in the same office with another human being for 40 hours per week.
"People don't know how to deal with other people anymore," the OSHA report stated. "And 40 hours week is like, woah, 8 hours a day."
With the easing of COVID regulations, the staggering numbers of hours workers are now forced to spend with other other coworkers is taking its toll.
"The sound of this guys keyboard is literally driving me insane," one employee said pointing to the cubicle next to them. "Listen to this bull [expletive]. Clickity-clack. Clickity-clack. All day long."
There are also concerns for physical health.
"I forgot how gross the office refrigerator was," another employee added. "This can't be safe. I put on a mask to open the door."
In the report, OSHA also acknowledges the dangers of when people actually talk to each other.
"Negative 'water cooler' talk, most of which could be classified as hate speech, increases significantly when employees are back in the office," the report read.
The OSHA report gave the following recommendation:
"To protect our workers and with an overabundance of caution for the health of the country, any employee working 40 hours a week should be terminated."